A funnier version of Eminem’s 8 MILE about rappers dying on the vine in the boring suburbs.

The same premise (rappers in the sticks, dreaming of Tokyo) only this time they’re women. It makes more of a difference than you’d believe.

Six of Korea’s biggest actresses play cockeyed versions of themselves in this real-time chronicle of a Vogue photo shoot gone wrong. Endlessly self-referential, it’s a dissection of what goes on inside a celebrity’s mind.

The first movie from Nikkatsu’s Sushi Typhoon label, it’s about an alien that comes to Earth to hunt humans. It is unstoppable. Unkillable. Insatiable. The only problem: it’s not ninja-proof.

Part documentary, part personal odyssey, part porn movie, this flick’s about legendary adult film actress Yumika Hayashi’s career in Korea.

From the director of King & the Clown comes this massive swordplay flick about a hero leading a coup against the king and the blind swordsman who sets out to stop him.

Director Toshiaki Toyoda (Blue Spring, Hanging Garden) makes a triumphant return to filmmaking with this trippy revenge saga that sticks its throbbing soundtrack deep inside your ears, while its shimmering visuals fry your eyes.

The story of a ragtag team of bodyguards who gave their lives to protect Dr. Sun Yat-sen on his trip to Hong Kong. It made a ton of loot at the box office, stars an all-star cast and was nominated for more Hong Kong Film Awards than any movie in history. Plus, Donnie Yen fights a horse.

A movie that will capture the heart of the serial masturbator inside all of us. This sex comedy starts with the borrowing of a bestiality DVD and ends with a Travis Bickle-style fist fight and in between it’s humiliating and hilarious in equal measures.

When Harry Met Sally by way of J.G. Ballard, a businessman tries to kill himself and winds up stranded on an island in the middle of the Han River in downtown Seoul. His only lifeline? An OCD agoraphobe spying on him from her apartment.

A box office hit, this bacon-flavored version of The Host is a send-up of Jaws only with a giant killer pig instead of a giant killer shark and, probably, a lot more pot got smoked while the script was being written.

Tetsuya Nakashima (Memories of Matsuko, Kamikaze Girls) returns to the NYAFF with his brand new movie about a school teacher convinced that her daughter was murdered by one of her seventh-grade students.

Huang Bo teams up with a cow to survive WWII in the ultimate buddy movie about the love between man and cow. By the time this movie is over you’ll believe a cow can cry.

Ning Hao’s (Crazy Stone) fast and furious comedy sends up the greed of man with the deepest, darkest black comedy you’ve ever seen. Like a live action Looney Tunes cartoon on crystal meth. Huang Bo plays a disgraced Olympic bicyclist reduced to being a delivery man, and Ning Hao sends him chasing after his dignity in a modern-day China full of con men, creeps, hustlers, scam artists, assassins, gangsters, drug dealers, murder-for-hire morons and all the other joys of modern day capitalism.

Miwa Nishikawa’s (Sway) deceptively simple movie about a small town doctor won every major Japanese film award and it’s one of the smartest and most complex films in our line-up.

The Kappa is a delightful Japanese sea monster that’s cute as a biscuit. Until Nazis cause it to grow to enormous size and go on a kill crazy rampage! A pitch perfect recreation of the 80’s, direct-to-VHS monster movie.

An uncut, uncensored documentary about the suicides, deaths and disease outbreaks that plagued Bodyguards and Assassins, the most famous “cursed” Hong Kong film of all time.

Go Shibata (Late Bloomer) has made a rocking thrash anthem about pretty boys bashing the homeless, occult conspiracies, mental emissions, magic mushrooms and massive zombie attacks. It’ll kick down your doors of perception like a psychedelic SWAT team.

A once-in-a-lifetime screening of Sammo Hung’s Vietnam War blow-out. A true masterpiece.

A bittersweet eulogy to 1960’s Hong Kong, it won a special prize in Berlin, earned Simon Yam his first “Best Actor” award and saved the street on which it was shot from demolition.

This 70’s throwback is a kung fu comedy starring a host of martial arts stars of the 70’s, including Chen Kuan-tai, Teddy Robin, Lo Meng and Bruce Leung.

The director of last year’s festival fave, Fish Story, returns with this twisty, inspiring conspiracy thriller about a simple delivery man who’s framed for the assassination of the Prime Minister.

Starring Donnie Yen, it’s the first movie about Bruce Lee’s master and it sparked the current revival of old school Hong Kong martial arts movies.

Sammo Hung and Donnie Yen throw down in this lavish martial arts flick that blew the Hong Kong box office wide open.

The kind of cracked, casual B-movie classic that Hong Kong used to crank out in the early 90’s, full of butt-kicking action and mouth-watering cooking.

Long a favorite of the Subway Cinema crew, we finally found a 35mm print of this unseen 80’s exploitation movie. As if Ed Wood directed a Korean-American martial arts film. Featuring Bill “Superfoot” Wallace it’s a retro classic on a par with last year’s House only instead of being a deconstruction of the haunted house movie, it’s a bizarre attempt to make an 80’s action picture.

Jackie Chan’s return to greatness, it’s the best and most moving film he’s made since 1994’s Drunken Master II.

The most controversial movie of the year, this all-star flick about the American massacre of Korean civillians at No Gun Ri is a quiet, underplayed, life-goes-on account of the bloody incident, playing out as gently as a Hou Hsiao-hsien film.

On New Year’s Day in 2009, director Tetsuaki Matsue (Annyong Yumika) and singer/songwriter Kenta Maeno made this amazing concert film: a single 74 minute shot of Kenta performing in the streets of Tokyo before giving an outdoor concert. More than the sum of its parts, it is raw and liberating.

If you think Tony Jaa is awesome, then check out this rocking slab of exploitation action starring Iko Uwais, an ace practicioner of Silat, Indonesia’s unique martial art.

Two 90 minute programs of short films from the genre film festival curated by E J-yong, Park Chan-wook, Kim Ji-woon and Bong Joon-ho. These short flicks pack more of a punch than longer features, and it’s your chance to see Korea’s future filmmakers making weird little romance, gore and animated films. This year’s line-up has an unhealthy obsession with children and tiny, four-inch-tall women.

At last year’s NYAFF, directors Tak Sakaguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi got drunk and vowed to make a movie together. Now they have, and their twisted take on the X-Men is here to upset pretty much everyone.

Pink films are the uniquely Japanese genre of 60 minute, softcore movies shot entirely analog. This year’s pink film double feature will screen Groper Train: School Uniform Hunter (2007) and Japanese Wife Next Door Part 2 (2004), the sequel to last year’s hit pink film. Totally smutty and completely insane.

Do you like to see kids thrown face-first through plate glass windows? We do! Johnny Nguyen (The Rebel) plays a terrorist who takes over a hospital. The only people who can stop him? A team of tikes with killer muay thai skills. Like a Hong Kong movie from 1988, it’s totally reckless, the action is breathless and child labor laws were made to be ignored.

Jeeja burst onto the scene with Chocolate and now she’s back in this flick where she learns how to combine muay thai beatings with sick B-boy moves. Truly jaw-dropping, it features more high impact falls, breakdance moves and savage beatdowns than are technically legal in Hollywood movies.

Celebrate freedom on the Fourth of July with a screening of John Woo’s massive, five-hour plus martial epic shown uncut, the way God – and John Woo – intended.

Sawako (Hikari Mitsushima, Love Exposure) is on her fifth job, her fifth boyfriend and her fifth year in Tokyo. But it’s not until she returns to her family’s clam-packing plant that she discovers that it’s okay to be a loser. Bizarre and hilarious, it’s a chick flick on crack featuring musical numbers, defective toys and the world’s worst boyfriend – a sensitive man who knits and lives a green lifestyle.

The highest grossing comedy of all time at the Korean box office is a funny, heartfelt comedy about celebrity DJ whose life is turned upside down after a woman shows up claiming to be his daughter (with his alleged granddaughter in tow). It’s already been optioned for a Hollywood remake with Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black) attached to direct.

The director of Rough Cut returns with this two-hander for Song Kang-Ho (_The Host) and Kang Dong-Won (The Duelist) playing retired spies battling it out long after their missions are over. It’s a throwback to 80’s style buddy movies (Lethal Weapon, 48 Hours) set against the Cold War between North and South Korea.

Zhang Zi-yi produced and stars in this madcap romantic comedy that co-stars Mainland diva, Fan Bing-bing, and Korean stud muffin, So Ji-Sub. Want to see the face of modern China? It’s not in any Jia Zhangke movies – it’s here in this slick, funny rom com.

The closest thing to a Hong Kong comic book ever put onscreen, this is like World of Warcraft via Iron Maiden, a heavy metal martial arts flick full of sword power and fist energy.

Japan’s #1 comedian, Hitoshi Matsumoto (director and star of Dai Nipponjin aka Big Man Japan) directs and stars in this flick that’s the 2001: A Space Odyssey of J-quirk cinema. The only movie this year to feature President Obama, Mexican wrestlers and five million angel penises.

One of the movies created for the 60th Anniversary of the Founding of the People’s Republic of China, this is an earnest, unironic film about the struggles and sacrifices of the men and women who…cleaned up Tiananmen Square for Chairman Mao. A jaw-dropping spectacle in every respect, it’s like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” Communist style.

Takashi Miike’s biggest box office hit of all time, this slyly hilarious send-up of kiddie show, Yatterman, is like a self-aware, satirical update of “Scooby-Doo” only with giant robots, leather-bondage-clad femme fatales and a pile of all the schoolgirls in Japan. Hilariously stupid, but insanely smart, it’s exactly the giant robot you thought Miike would make.